Pain, Patience, Tolerance, Anger,
Every person experiences pain in their life for various reasons. The reasons could be
- Illness of self or someone near and dear
- Economic reasons – want of sufficient finances to survive and carry on day today living
- Non achievement of certain things like education , job, promotion , ambition
- Actions / non action of self/ others
- Conditions of others in the family/ society
Patience is the capacity to wait for something to happen.
Tolerance is the capacity to accept things as they are even though one may not like or agree with it.
Patience and tolerance go together many times. You need patience to tolerate certain things.
Pain, tolerance and patience also work in combination. One needs to tolerate pain with patience. Of course the question arises as to how long?
Pain when it exceeds the limits of one’s tolerance and patience leads to anger. The ‘limit’ varies from person to person. Some may tolerate pain for quite a long time while others may not. Thus some may get angry very quickly while others may have more patience and may not get angry easily. The same applies to tolerance without pain also.
Most of the Religions and Philosophers preach that we should not get angry. That anger leads to a lot of negative repercussions for both the self and others. But overcoming anger is not so easy. In spite of all the preachings, many of the Sages themselves have got angry at the drop of a hat and given curses which have led to serious happenings as narrated in the puranas. Thus ordinary mortals getting angry cannot be faulted with.
Further it is moot to discuss whether we should tolerate and have patience at all times and with everything that is happening or not happening around us. Things may be happening or not happening in the same way as one feels it should or should not happen.
Should we get angry and react in certain situations?
How long should one tolerate and have patience?
Will this not differ from person to person, time to time, situation to situation?
Can getting angry lead to improvement, betterment and happiness of one’s self and the surrounding people/ things?
A person also gets angry when he wants something or somebody to change to his liking but do not. This leads to the bigger question whether change is possible at all.
Everyone has certain traits, qualities, principles, way of life, beliefs, practices, etc which are unique to everyone. As the saying goes no two persons are similar.
While there is nothing wrong with the above the problems start with the following:
Everyone believes that he/she is always right and his /her thinking/way of doing things is the best.
Everyone wants everyone else to change their thinking/ way of life,
But no one wants to change himself/ herself, his/her thinking, his/her way of life
This leads to a lot of conflict in family, social and interpersonal relationships in all spheres of activity.
This leads to intolerance and anger.
However, many a time one tolerates or has patience with the other because there is no alternative or just to have peaceful living.